The vibeous musicalius, or vibe as it’s known to the layperson, is one of the rarest creatures in the world. Like its sister species, the muse, the vibe belongs to the aura atmospherus family.
History: For centuries artists have travelled the world, consumed strange substances and built dark temples searching for the vibe. It is even fabled that vibes were used as a weapon during the Ottoman empire with Sultan Mehmed using plush velvet couches and mood lighting to sedate his enemies. In the 20th century, musicians such as Jimi Hendrix, Miles Davis, Billie Holliday and Raffi were experts at the care and feeding of vibe, Raffi being one of the first to observe and capture baby vibes in the wild.
Habitat: Thought to be predominantly nocturnal, the vibe is often found in dimly lit rooms and seems to be attracted to candles and lava-lamps. Recording studios like Abbey Road, Stax and Motown’s Hitsville USA have been known as popular breeding grounds for vibes. On rare occasions like 1969’s Woodstock there have been sudden explosions in the vibe population causing serious damage to nearby farms and wildlife.
Capture: If you sense a vibe in the room it is imperative that you try to capture it immediately, regardless of the medium. A good specimen can be caught with even low quality equipment. Once on recording, a vibe can be replayed infinite times.
Treatment: The vibe is a dainty and delicate creature, easily spooked by bright lights and big egos. It is important to be be gentle and patient. You don’t need to dress up a vibe, they are usually most comfortable naked.
Diet: The vibe has been known to live on a wide range of food and drink varying from pizza and beer to caviar and champagne. Some people have reported success feeding a vibe with elicit substances but that is not officially recommended by this article.
Breeding: If conditions are right, a small vibe can multiply quickly. Scientists have been trying for years to create synthetic vibe in the laboratory but have only been able to make bad vibes like envy and that sinking feeling.
Vibes are a magical and beautiful creature. The few people who have managed to domesticate a vibe have said they are loving pets who help with creativity and foster feelings of well being.
Mike Southworth is a Producer, Musician, Director and Jack-of-All-Trades who lives in Vancouver with his wife and pet iPhone. Check out the studio page more information about working with Mike at Creativ Studios.